humor Quotes

"The woman who follows the crowd will usually believe that I said this."

"You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you... ...

"Smoke like a chimney, work like a horse, eat without thinking, go for a walk only in really pleasant company."

"Long hair minimizes the need for barbers; socks can be done without; one leather jacket solves the coat problem for many years; suspenders are superfluous."

"God gave me the stubbornness of a mule and a fairly keen scent."

"If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith."

"To punish me for my contempt for authority, fate made me an authority myself."

"The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax."

"Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute."

"The faster you go, the shorter you are."