"If your career is a bad boyfriend, it is healthy to remember you can always leave and go sleep with somebody else."

"If you ever want to see heaven, watch a bunch of young girls play. They are all sweat and skinned knees. Energy and open faces."

"Both conservatives and liberals watch 'Parks and Recreation,' and they each think the show is for them, which is really cool. 'SNL' was totally different. It was exciting because everyone was paying attention. Political humor works when people know what you're talking about."

"Do work that you are proud of with your talented friends."

"Opening your heart and being courageous and telling people that you care about them or like them or that you think they're special only makes you a better, bigger, kinder, softer, more loving person, and only attracts more love into your life."

"I get worried for young girls sometimes; I want them to feel that they can be sassy and full and weird and geeky and smart and independent, and not so withered and shriveled."

"You never know what's around the corner unless you peek. Hold someone's hand while you do it. You will feel less scared."

"Rooting for other people's failure does get in the way of your success."

"We have to agree beforehand to divide the funniest lines between us. But Tina [Fey] is so brilliant that I just love every moment working with her and also just hanging out together as friends."

"Everyone needs love, never hurt a living thing [and] don’t worry about the choices you make because everything will be fun because life is a closet filled with pool toys."

"Sticking up for ourselves in the same way we would one of our friends is a hard but satisfying thing to do. Sometimes it works."

"Your career and your passion don't always match up. Plenty of talented people don't have the careers they want. Plenty of untalented people make millions and make movies. There is a difference between determination and talent."

"I worked at an ice cream parlor called Chadwicks. We wore old-timey outfits and had to bang a drum, play a kazoo, and sing 'Happy Birthday' to people while giving them free birthday sundaes. Lots of ice cream scooping and $1 tips."

"Taking risks and making choices is what makes life so exciting."

"Going from crying to laughing that fast and hard happens maybe five times in your life and that extreme right turn is the reason why we are alive, and I believe it extends our life by many years."

"I believe great people do things before they are ready."

"Great people do things before they're ready. They do things before they know they can do it. Doing what you're afraid of, getting out of your comfort zone, taking risks like that - that is what life is. You might be really good. You might find out something about yourself that's really special and if you're not good, who cares? You tried something. Now you know something about yourself."

"Creativity is connected to your passion, that light inside you that drives you. That joy that comes when you do something you love. That small voice that tells you, 'I like this. Do this again. You are good at it. Keep going.' That is the juicy stuff that lubricates our lives and helps us feel less alone in the world."

"I think the hardest thing is to know what you want, ask for it, and then to stop talking."

"Make no a complete sentence."

"Nobody looks stupid when they are having fun."

"We may all host ourselves to death, and if we're all dead who will host our funerals?"

"In my twenties I tried cocaine, which I instantly loved but eventually hated. Cocaine is terrific if you want to hang out with people you don't know very well and play Ping-Pong all night. It's bad for almost everything else."

"Fighting aging is like the War on Drugs. It's expensive, does more harm than good, and has been proven to never end."

"The federal government began investigating allegations of fraud against the Coalition Provisional Authority, a U.S. contractor accused in a bid-rigging operation involving millions of dollars. Asked to comment, a spokesperson for Halliburton said, 'Millions? With an M? That is adorable.'"

"During an interview with Katie Couric Tuesday, Sarah Palin says she is not opposed to gay people, adding 'One of my absolute best friends for the last 30 years happens to be gay and I love her dearly and she doesn't exist.'"

"According to Washington insiders, White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan could be the next official to leave the Bush administration. McClellan says he'd like to spend more time lying for his family"