comedienne Quotes

"If you can speak about what you care about to a person you disagree with without denigrating them or insulting them, then you may actually be heard."

"Most authors liken the struggle of writing to something mighty and macho, like wrestling a bear. Writing a book is nothing like that. It is a small, slow crawl to the finish line. Honestly, I have moments when I don't...

"I like the person who commits and goes all in and takes big swings and then maybe fails or looks stupid; who jumps and falls down, rather than the person who points at the person who fell, and laughs. "

"Looking silly can be ver powerful. People who are committing and taking risks become the king and queen of my prom. People are their most beautiful when they are laughing, crying, dancing, playing, telling the truth, and being chased in...

"I don't watch a lot of comedy. For relaxation and escape, I watch shows about how people survive bear attacks. Or old episodes of 'Law and Order,' the Benjamin Bratt/Jerry Orbach era."

"In conclusion, I invite the media to all grow a pair. And if you can't, I will lend you mine."

"I used to say that I wanted to make great art with people I love. Now I have an addendum to that goal: to get things on the air."

"Try to keep your mind open to possibilities and your mouth closed on matters that you don't know about. Limit your 'always' and your 'nevers.'"

"There's nothing like watching a live performance of, frankly, anything. You have to make sure that people believe everything is improvised. I could not stress enough how little we [actors] prepare and what small amount of time we put in...

"The desire to work with Burrows-Charles was really to change NBC's identity, to say, "We want to be in the sophisticated-adult-comedy business.""

"When something feels really big, too big to handle, just go very small. Just go real small, just look at the person next to you and look in their eyes and meet the person next to you, find out their...

"I like hard work and I don’t like pretending things are perfect."

"It's very hard to watch comedy for me, when I'm doing a comedy show, because I either watch a show and I love it, and I'm jealous, or I watch a show and I see all the problems with it,...

"Well people love to go dirty and stuff like that. It's funny, because even really dirty things can kind of inspire, but all things inspire really dirty improv and monologues. So then really dirty things can inspire the exact opposite....

"We don't want to be afraid to make a choice because we're afraid to make a mistake because most decisions aren't final. Feelings change all the time. You can always change your mind and taking risks and making choices is...

"It takes years as a woman to unlearn what you have been taught to be sorry for."

"I love bossy women. Some people hate the word, and I understand how "bossy" can seem like a shitty way to describe a woman with a determined point of view, but for me, a bossy woman is someone to search...

"The process of divorce is about loading that blanket, throwing it up, watching it all spin, and worrying what stuff will break when it lands."

"Vulnerable people are powerful people. Opening your heart and sharing it means you're going to get so much love in your life. and it's the way to true connection and real purpose and meaning in your life, in my opinion."

"Too often we women try to tackle chaos that is not ours to fix."

"Great people do things before they’re ready. They do things before they know they can do it."

"In a recent Valentine's Day posting on her fan website, Britney Spears says that - oh, who cares?"

"When you're betrayed there's a period of shame and then there's always forgiveness."

"I know enough now to know I know nothing."

"I hate Halloween. I hate dressing up. I hate - I wear wigs, makeup, costumes every day. Halloween is like, my least favorite holiday."

"I moved to Chicago in the early 1990s and I studied improvisation there. I learned some rules that I try to apply still today: Listen. Say yes. Live in the moment. Make sure you play with people who have your...

"Anybody who doesn't make you feel good, kick them to the curb. And the earlier you start in your life, the better."

"Always remember your kid's name."

"When I had a job catering, I catered a wedding for the Smashing Pumpkins bassist in Indiana. And I served Billy Corgan shrimp off a tray."

"In the trial of Saddam Hussein on Tuesday, witnesses emotionally testified about the abuse the former dictator inflicted on them. Afterward, a tearful Saddam said, 'Ah, good times.'"

"Try putting your iPhones down every once in a while and look at people's faces."

"I love saying 'yes' and I love saying 'please.' Saying 'yes' doesn't mean I don't know how to say no, and saying 'please' doesn't mean I am waiting for permission. 'Yes please' sounds powerful and concise. It's a response and...

"I'm going to do 'The Social Network Two: The Electric Boogaloo.' And I have a part in 'Beige Swan.' I'm going to be the lead, but I don't dance. I just do a lot of sitting down. It's too tiring...

"I don’t really believe in cars, but I drive one every day and I love that it gets me places and makes life so much easier and faster and I don’t know what I would do without it."

"I love my boys so much I fear my heart will explode. I wonder if this love will crack open my chest and split me in half. It is scary, this love."

"We need to remember what's important in life: friends, waffles, work. Or waffles, friends, work, it doesn't matter. But work is third."

"Stop whining about getting old. It's a privilege. A lot of people who are dead wish they were still alive."

"The pressure of 'what are you going to do?' makes everyone feel like they haven't done anything yet."

"You aren't allowed to feel special, but no one knows the specific ways you are in pain."

"It seems a strange thing, but once I was able to get past that kind of self-image problem, I was able to open up in my comedy work and just go all out, take chances, and have fun with the...

"I also love being able to do something that kids and families can enjoy because I have two children of my own and I want them to grow up watching all the fabulous animated movies and cartoons that I loved...

"President Bush threw out the first pitch Monday at Cincinnati's great American ball park. 18 Iraqis were killed."

"When in doubt, make funny faces."

"Listen. Say yes. Live in the moment. Make sure you play with people who have your back. Make big choices early and often."

"I really liked the idea of playing that kind of optimistic, super-intense, go-get-'em spirit combined with being a little bit of an outsider. I am really drawn to girls of that age in general, who believe they can be a...

"Don't think. Get out of your head. Stop planning and just go."

"A bossy woman is someone to search out and celebrate. A bossy woman is someone who cares and commits and is a natural leader."

"What I like about all these giant superhero movies is that they speak to the issues that I'm dealing with - working mother and time management and how to be an interesting, sexual, curious woman in your 40s."

"However, if you do start crying in an argument and someone asks why, you can always say, 'I'm just crying because of how wrong you are.'"

"Tina Fey and I have 15 things in development: 'Laverne and Shirley', 'Starsky and Hutch 3', 'Cagney and Lacey', 'Wonder Twins Activate From Two Hot Broads', 'Little House on the Prairie: The Musical: The Movie'."

"I want to be around people who dream and support and do things."

"It’s very hard to have ideas. It’s very hard to put yourself out there, it’s very hard to be vulnerable, but those people who do that are the dreamers, the thinkers and the creators. They are the magic people of...

"The computer is the new fireplace, everyone in the family gathers around the digital hearth for warmth."

"I lived in Chicago for a few years and got a sense of - kind of that broad-shouldered, windy, um, stern, Midwestern, warm-slash-passive aggressive, wonderful - every adjective I can think of, very cold."

"I do not improvise in heels."

"Career is the stringing together of opportunities and jobs. Mix in public opinion and past regrets. Add a dash of future panic and a whole lot of financial uncertainty. Career is something that fools you into thinking you are in...

"[At Boston College] I started working on the kinds of skills that you need for comedy. It's about being creative and learning to use your gift for being able to let loose and be very unself-conscious. It took me time...

"So, if you're doing good longform with talented people than you can step out and you can be the president or a construction worker and people accept that. It's really the roles you give yourself."

"Creativity is connected to your passion, that light inside you that drives you. . . . Your creativity is not a bad boyfriend. It is a really warm older Hispanic lady who has a beautiful laugh and loves to hug."

"Creativity is connected to passion - that light inside that drives you."

"There's something so romantic about being broke in New York. You gotta do it. You have to live there once without any money, and then you have to live there when you have money. Let me tell you, of the...

"Your ability to navigate and tolerate change and its painful uncomfortablene ss directly correlates to your happiness and general well-being. See what I just did there? I saved you thousands of dollars on self-help books. If you can surf your...

"When you do talk about yourself, or to yourself... try to picture you talking to your own daughter, or your younger sister. Because you would tell your younger sister or your daughter that she is beautiful, and you wouldn't be...