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"Believe me, blond hair can take you really far, especially with the older men. It can really distract from the face. I am convinced I could have had sex with both Tony Bennett and John McCain if we weren't each happily married at the time we all met."
"Keep your virginity for as long as you can, until it starts to feel weird to you. Then just get it over with."
"I don't think a man who is fifteen years younger than me should tell me he is proud of me unless he is my sober coach or my time-travel dad."
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